Discriminated on Halloween.

So, I ain't have a costume this year cus I was homecoming dress shopping! (cough, bullshit) I chose the first dress I saw walking into Kohl's. I have no excuse :( shame, shame. 

I really like it. It looks like all the other dresses I own, but oh fucking well. I love spending my mom's money. and it was on sale and she had a coupon, y'all! No hard feelings.

YEA! Go awkward poses. Tryna be all professional and shit. JK. I was bored. No one's home! They all's trickertreating. But not me :( 

I have legitimate reasons. As an adolescent in an ever increasing obnoxious society, people don't reward you for wanting to stay young, but see that as mooching fo' theys goodies.

Scenario:

10 yr old brother in ninja costume: twick ore tweat!

generic candy giver: aw, little boy! what are you?

bro: sexy

candybitch: AW. how clever, doth thou has a joke?

bro: yea

candybitch: oh ho ho, you know the drill. tell me your joke for some candy ;)

bro: no.

candybitch: HAHA, SO CLEVER. TWO HANDFULLS OF REGULAR SIZED CANDY BARS FOR YOU!!

(turns to me)

Jess (in sweetest innocent voice): Trick or treat :)

Candybitch: well, wtf is you supposed to be.

Jess: A kitty ^_^

Candybitch: uh huh. right, gotta joke?

Jess: Why do you go to bed

Candybitch: cus im fucking tired. duh

Jess: Cus the bed won't come to you! hahahahaa... ha?

Candybitch: ha. her's a fun sized mint.. NEXT!

Man, i had a joke and i can pronounce my R's. WTF man, that deserves just as much candy as the debauchery of a prepubescent jackass. I worked my ass to get this far ahead in the social standings for candy receiving, I deserve MOAR!


So, tonight my dears, I retire my witch costume I've worn for every year since 3rd grade to leave on my porch lights and lure kiddies in to tell me jokes but deny them candy. 


-peacyouttu.