Howdy, it's been 17 days since my last post, so what' been happening? Nothing... and everything.
Jessica doesn't have time for herself anymore. Always in the public eye. Always being looked at. Being judged. Hm, bitch is benching 5 lbs, I can bench 240 lbs. Hey, got an awkward habit of biting your wrist, think no one will notice? Ha, there goes llama man and little Jacob staring at you from across the gym. Got an over attached mother? Well, make no friends cus she's always there questioning why everyone who talks to her daughter has facial hair. Don't wanna swim with the fam today? You dishonor our famiry! Y U NO like us no more!? Why you sit in steam room and hide from us?!?! Why you sit outside to tan your booty without us? Why you wanna see your friends and not play with us some more? Why you take car to target all the time for long hours? Why you never satisfied? Why you so detached? Why you so skinny? Eat moar! NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG.
Guys, I just wanna break, some privacy, some me time. Is that too much to ask? I'm going crazy! I think about things that don't happen, could happen, would happen. I create scenarios - bad ones - and there I am, in a bad mood for the rest of the day going through mood swings as optimistic jessica tries to overcome pessimistic jessica. I'm trapped inside my mind, always by myself with no one understanding to share thoughts with. To escape. I find something I like doing and have brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts join me (intrude) and that makes it... no fun so I stray away and find something else to do where they can't find me.. but of course they always do and I hate it. Am I a bad person, selfish, unappreciative, a bitch? I know exactly what I want. It's not like I'm trying to find myself or anything, things just can't go my way. I want green grapes? No one else likes them so I have to get red grapes.
My latest activities that I've found solitude in? Zumba. Too fast pitched for my mamas aunts and babies of the family. Belly dancing. Too intricate and too late in the night for them to join. Limbo. Let's face it, they can't keep up with my "athletic" ass. I'll show you pictures of my prizes from limbo later -- my biggest competion was a lil toddler whose afro hair never even reached the bar. But goddamn, i beat them muthafuckers. I BEAT THEM ALL.
Update: I think im gonna kill everyone -_-
Jessica doesn't have time for herself anymore. Always in the public eye. Always being looked at. Being judged. Hm, bitch is benching 5 lbs, I can bench 240 lbs. Hey, got an awkward habit of biting your wrist, think no one will notice? Ha, there goes llama man and little Jacob staring at you from across the gym. Got an over attached mother? Well, make no friends cus she's always there questioning why everyone who talks to her daughter has facial hair. Don't wanna swim with the fam today? You dishonor our famiry! Y U NO like us no more!? Why you sit in steam room and hide from us?!?! Why you sit outside to tan your booty without us? Why you wanna see your friends and not play with us some more? Why you take car to target all the time for long hours? Why you never satisfied? Why you so detached? Why you so skinny? Eat moar! NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG.
Guys, I just wanna break, some privacy, some me time. Is that too much to ask? I'm going crazy! I think about things that don't happen, could happen, would happen. I create scenarios - bad ones - and there I am, in a bad mood for the rest of the day going through mood swings as optimistic jessica tries to overcome pessimistic jessica. I'm trapped inside my mind, always by myself with no one understanding to share thoughts with. To escape. I find something I like doing and have brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts join me (intrude) and that makes it... no fun so I stray away and find something else to do where they can't find me.. but of course they always do and I hate it. Am I a bad person, selfish, unappreciative, a bitch? I know exactly what I want. It's not like I'm trying to find myself or anything, things just can't go my way. I want green grapes? No one else likes them so I have to get red grapes.
My latest activities that I've found solitude in? Zumba. Too fast pitched for my mamas aunts and babies of the family. Belly dancing. Too intricate and too late in the night for them to join. Limbo. Let's face it, they can't keep up with my "athletic" ass. I'll show you pictures of my prizes from limbo later -- my biggest competion was a lil toddler whose afro hair never even reached the bar. But goddamn, i beat them muthafuckers. I BEAT THEM ALL.
Update: I think im gonna kill everyone -_-
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What up baby girl ;)