Our darling, delusional Harold Camping keeps insisting the world will end in fiery explosions and rapture and all Buddhists will spiral down their toilets because Buddha wasn't aware that Jesus was gonna listen to any of Camping's four predictions: 1988; 1994; May 2011; and Today! Oh boy, am i excited. If in approximately 8 hours, I have not been grabbed my a huge fist of fire coming from the ground.. I'm gonna be pissed. He's teasing us, mannn. I just wanna make love, fuck men, and get laiddddd.
Just kidding, I want food, brah.
This may be my last chance to acknowledge my loves, lusts, and fuck offs for I shan't be in Heaven with you all... seeing cus I'm 0.2 Buddhies.
1. Food. I feel like a total waste. Why maintain a body when you finna die anyway? AT SIXTEEN. People are like: Let nothing hold you back, you only have this one life to live. BULLSHIT, man, bullshit. Hunger is holding me back, and I'm holding myself back from eating so this body and continue to fit into size nothing which is taking up my time. I could be enjoying myself so much more by doing nothing than going outside/gym and being all sticky and sweaty. Ew. I regret not appreciating and marinating myself in the world's culinary world. Kinda too late for that tho. I plan to not be bloated when I die. Gotta use that zombie escaping skill i kept my bod in shape for, duh.
2. Speaking of zombies.. If I see no undead apocalypse I'm gonna shoot someone.
3. Animals. Their brains aren't welly formed enough to believe in any God. They're like toddlers, they see and know what is in their environment. It's not their fault God didn't give them the ability to believe in Him. Do they get raptured, spend eternity in hell, or go to their respective animal heaven? In my selfish wants, I want all gross ass things to go to heaven and keep the nice ones in Hell. NO INSECTS, YAY.
4. Same goes for plants. I like daisies and cacti and fruit juice.
5. Will Earth just go *poof*? God's kinda like "I MADE YOU AND I CAN TAKE OUT OF THIS WORLD".. Kinda like our moms do. Does this mean the universe no longer exists? What.. Where's heaven. i'd like to see a map of this place. Oh? Between your legs? Hey babeeh ;)
6. Anything not hot. Seeing that Hell is a fiery pit of dandruff and hotness, I'll miss the rain, ice cream, snow, plastic made stuff (shit'll melt :O) , nice hair.. It'd be like living in Socialist Vietnam all the time minus the happiness and sun, and shopping, and buses.
7. Dude, maybe I'll meet Hitler ^_^
I stop at seven in honor of Eze. Actually, I just got lazy. Ima go pack my bags for Hell now.
- Jess
Just kidding, I want food, brah.
This may be my last chance to acknowledge my loves, lusts, and fuck offs for I shan't be in Heaven with you all... seeing cus I'm 0.2 Buddhies.
1. Food. I feel like a total waste. Why maintain a body when you finna die anyway? AT SIXTEEN. People are like: Let nothing hold you back, you only have this one life to live. BULLSHIT, man, bullshit. Hunger is holding me back, and I'm holding myself back from eating so this body and continue to fit into size nothing which is taking up my time. I could be enjoying myself so much more by doing nothing than going outside/gym and being all sticky and sweaty. Ew. I regret not appreciating and marinating myself in the world's culinary world. Kinda too late for that tho. I plan to not be bloated when I die. Gotta use that zombie escaping skill i kept my bod in shape for, duh.
2. Speaking of zombies.. If I see no undead apocalypse I'm gonna shoot someone.
3. Animals. Their brains aren't welly formed enough to believe in any God. They're like toddlers, they see and know what is in their environment. It's not their fault God didn't give them the ability to believe in Him. Do they get raptured, spend eternity in hell, or go to their respective animal heaven? In my selfish wants, I want all gross ass things to go to heaven and keep the nice ones in Hell. NO INSECTS, YAY.
4. Same goes for plants. I like daisies and cacti and fruit juice.
5. Will Earth just go *poof*? God's kinda like "I MADE YOU AND I CAN TAKE OUT OF THIS WORLD".. Kinda like our moms do. Does this mean the universe no longer exists? What.. Where's heaven. i'd like to see a map of this place. Oh? Between your legs? Hey babeeh ;)
6. Anything not hot. Seeing that Hell is a fiery pit of dandruff and hotness, I'll miss the rain, ice cream, snow, plastic made stuff (shit'll melt :O) , nice hair.. It'd be like living in Socialist Vietnam all the time minus the happiness and sun, and shopping, and buses.
7. Dude, maybe I'll meet Hitler ^_^
I stop at seven in honor of Eze. Actually, I just got lazy. Ima go pack my bags for Hell now.
- Jess
Do you think they shove pinapples up people's butt in hell? o3o They showed that happening to Hitler on "Little Nicky"
ReplyDeleteElohelohelohelohel your mom does that too? This is h threat for me cleaning my room. Lmfao if I was in hell, it'd be strip poker with boob head all day long.
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