You ain't even cute

Hm, you smell weird. Not a bad weird, but an exotic asian weird. It smells good. I like it.

Thanks, it's Adidas.

What's Asian even smell like?

Well, Let Me Google That For You

Or I could just tell you... although I like the second search result which narrows the answer down to "you're a dumbass"

Have you ever been to Asia? No? I'll describe the smell to you. No, it does not smell like rice. It smells like super markets. Or perhaps a farmers' market.  The combination of exhaust and fresh fruit, frying oil, and raw meat in the streets overrides the ricey aroma (cusss rice has no scent, dears). If you really wanna get specific, the Philippines smells like sewage, Thailand smells like salt and bacon, Laos smells like baguettes, and Vietnam smells like soy beef patties. All of the above mixed with high population density, fish, and pollution. Twenty-fo seven.

Doesn't this sound delectable...pretty... ton noveau parfum favori? A revolution in the eau de toilette industry! Ethnic scented waters.

Sauerkraut German, the French Metro with splashes of snobbery, grass and cow dung rural England, Lardy fast food American, Brussels sprout Belgians, Curry and BO Indian, Irish Leprechauns (skittles, really)! I'd love me some Lithuanian sandalwood,  cedar, musk, and wood fire. Srsly tho. The Lithuanian government did commission a national scent that embodied the Lithuanian spirit and thus sent it around the globe to share it with those who never had intentions of visiting Lithuania... or knew it existed. At least we know how it smells. 

Seeing that it's Thanksgiving and all, I should be thankful that you even noticed me to tell me that I smelled like what you embody exotic Asian as. I'm flattered. I'm even more thankful that you're my friend and that you don't hit on me anymore.